


I would go through hell, just to be with you.

by Zoe Villoria (zoe_v)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Established Relationship, M/M, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Writer Kita Shinsuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28194042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoe_v/pseuds/Zoe%20Villoria
Summary: "Everything we had done together has not gone to waste if we both enjoyed it together, everything we had done for each other has not gone to waste if our love was true like the love you see in fairy tales.One day, I will tell the world about the wondrous love we had together through my words, which I poured in every single bit of my feelings. I will tell the world about the love that we could have had if only I had been enough for you.Through this letter that I wrote for you, I can finally say thatwe can now go on our separate ways, my gossamer breeze."-From Kita Shinsuke, To Miya Atsumu.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42
Collections: Haikyuu Secret Santa 2020





	I would go through hell, just to be with you.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bubblegumcherrypop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblegumcherrypop/gifts).



Miya Atsumu,

The one and only, Miya Atsumu.

Notorious for being the ½ of the Miya twins, for being Japan’s best high school setter and server.

His junior, his teammate, and his close friend.

Now, in his loving arms.

A happy and affectionate relationship between two of the best students in Inarizaki; every day used to be filled with joy, thrill, and excitement. Young love has never been this beautiful in the eyes of many. They were still the perfect role model students everyone had looked up to and were still amusing as a person! Their relationship together was to die for.

They were the high school sweethearts of Inarizaki, the power couple of the school that you would see walking around the campus- holding hands, gazes of envy and amusement every time they walk side by side together; they were that couple.

You would think that they would be one of the lucky couples that would last for an _eternity_ , a couple who were like soulmates- no, they _were_ the definition of soulmates, everything they do together was what soulmates would do.

For Kita Shinsuke, he was everything to him; from his smooth dyed hair, his caring nature, to his extraordinary personality.

  
  


_He became the epitome of beauty in his eyes._

For Miya Atsumu, he _was_ also everything to him; from his soft hands, his loving nature, to his hard-working lifestyle.

  
  


_He was the sole reason why he is still up and going._

  
  


_Kita Shinsuke, the angel that was sent from the heavens above_

  
  


_and Miya Atsumu, the lucky man who was able to call this lovely angel ‘his’._

  
  


They were inseparable as if they were glued tight to each other. They know each other like the back of their hand, from their mannerism to traits that one doesn’t even know about. Everything, like everything, about them; they could literally pass as one of the best couples in the school if someone had made a poll about it.

It went from a month, a year, to 5 years. The glue they have in between them was as strong as the pouring rain on a Sunday evening as if nothing’s going to be bad as long as they have each other.

Everyone, even those who had admired the boys, wished them a long and strong relationship; they were so supportive of them, which the couple was so glad to know.

Now, they’re in their late 20s and things were going well between the high school sweethearts. Life was amazing- just by their presence, they already feel loved and content because they know that they love each other. They’d think that nothing would go wrong between the two, that their love was going to last long for centuries to come.

But everything _changed_ when Atsumu started to become distant from Shinsuke.

His texts used to be brimming with energy, now they’re short and unpleasant to read. His hands don’t reach out to Shinsuke’s often like before and Atsumu would give him the silent treatment without a reason for days. Kita could list down the things he had noticed when Atsumu became distant, from their talks to the way he moves whenever Kita’s around.

_It broke his heart, seeing how Atsumu is now treating him._

  
  


_The man of his life, now slowly becoming a stranger._

  
  


-

Sept. 28, 2019. 

“How was your day, ‘Tsumu?”

The older asked the blonde man, sitting in front of him on the small rectangular table who was busy chatting with someone on his phone.

For minutes that seemed like hours, he has been listening to the sounds of the keyboard typing and the occasional giggles he emits. It seems like the latter’s too focused on the chat he’s having; it was making Kita insane.

Getting annoyed for getting ignored for the 6th time today, he coughed to get his attention.

“Oh, what is it Shinsuke?” Atsumu asked as he turned off his phone and put it upside down on the table.

Kita could feel a sigh incoming but stopped himself from doing so.

“How was your day? Did something good happen today?”

His face lit up; it was the first time Kita had seen Atsumu smile since forever. “Well, I am very glad that you asked! But I might ramble about it so maybe another time instead.”

“But you never told me about anything afterward…” The latter mumbled that almost came out as a whisper as he looked back at his laptop.

“What did you say? I couldn’t hear it.”

“Ah, it’s nothing! Do what you have to do, ‘Tsumu.” With that, he went back to texting.

  
  


_‘It has always been like this ever since you started being distant.’_

  
  


_‘The same old excuse, you never tell me anything.’_

  
  


_‘Why is this even happening?’_

  
  


-

Oct. 24, 2019. 

Sitting on a candlelit table all alone, in a fancy restaurant. It’s been a while since they went out together, especially on an occasion like this. Atsumu was the one who said that they should go out and eat at a restaurant he has been eyeing since its opening. All dressed up, he waits for the arrival of his lover with his phone on the side of the table for two.

Kita has been waiting for 30 minutes now and it’s almost time for the closing hours, the food has gotten cold already.

  
  


_‘What’s taking him so long?’_

  
  


Impatient, he grabbed his phone, turned it on, and opened the messenger app.

**‘Where are you? The food’s getting cold.’** Sent the message to Atsumu and started the waiting game. Not even touching his food, he just stared at the bright screen of his phone; waiting for a reply from the man.

Seconds turned into minutes; he still got no reply. Suddenly, a waiter came up and asked, “Sir, it’s almost time for us to close. Are you perhaps waiting for the one who made the reservation?” Surprised, Kita just nodded. “I’m sorry but you have to eat your food now. Now, I understand how much it sucks having your date arriving late but we’re about to close now sir. We can have the other meal to-go if you’d like to! But that will be on me because I can’t let them know that.”

Teary-eyed, Kita just nodded again and started eating his now-cold dinner.

  
  


_‘Seems like he forgot about me today.’_

  
  


_‘Good thing I have my credit card with me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to pay everything though.’_

  
  


_‘I can’t believe he just forgot about our date today.’_

  
  


_‘Good food does help you cheer up though.’_

  
  


-

After the uneventful dinner he had, he went home with tears falling down his cheeks. Negative thoughts manifested throughout the entire walk home which made him cry even harder. By the time he arrived home, his tears came to a stop and he took a deep sigh. He entered his small cozy apartment and saw Atsumu sitting by the couch, texting with another person and love bites visible on his neck despite having to wear a hoodie.

  
  


_‘That’s the 3rd time that I’ve seen him with hickies.’_

  
  


“I’m home.”

“Oh, you’re back! How was work?”

  
  


_‘But today’s my day-off…’_

  
  


_‘And my literary manager’s on her day-off too…’_

  
  


“It was alright, nothing new or great happened.”

“Well, that sucks. There’s some oyakodon that I cooked on the table for you.” He says and goes back to texting.

  
  


_‘It sure does suck, having you miss our date when it was your idea.'_

  
  


-

Nov. 12, 2020. 

‘How long has it been since we last had a genuine conversation?’ Kita thought to himself whilst having to type down his draft for the 10th chapter of his first book. He thought about it and somehow typed in his thoughts on the draft, this made him frustrated but he just removed them and continued on typing.

“Hey Shinsuke, do you want anything for lunch?” Atsumu appears out of nowhere and asks the busy man, putting a hot cup of tea on the side of Kita’s table. Kita mumbles a thank you as he continues typing the draft.

“Hmm, maybe takikomi gohan? Kinda sounds good for today.”

“Well then, takikomi gohan it is! Good luck on your draft Shinsuke, love you.”

Then the latter left the living room and off to the kitchen, Kita sighed, saved his document, and opened YouTube.

  
  


_‘Why do I feel like he’s lying?’_

  
  


He came across a video with Atsumu’s face on it, along with his teammates and a new face; it was a compilation of yesterday’s match. He watched the video and finally saw the new member of his team,

It was Hinata Shouyo from the team they lost against to back in his third year of high school.

-

Nov. 29, 2019. 

“Shouyo! Good afternoon to you, how are you doing today?” Atsumu exclaims on the phone, greeting his new teammate first thing in the afternoon.

That’s the 7th time he called Hinata Shouyo this week.

  
  


_‘Ah, he’s on the phone again with Hinata.’_

  
  


“Well, that’s great! Are you free today? Because I was thinking of checking out this cool café I saw when I was on my way home yesterday. So, I was thinking, do you wanna go to the café with me?” The fake blonde asked Hinata, the other hand touching the hem of his mustard yellow hoodie and his grin wide as ever.

  
  


_‘Why are you not smiling at me like that nowadays?’_

  
  


_‘Why are you smiling like that whenever you’re talking to him or whenever you talk about him?’_

  
  


_‘Is there something that I do not know about?’_

  
  


Every time Kita eavesdrop on their conversations, he would always feel like he’s just touching the fabric. Eavesdropping isn’t something Kita would do but somehow, he would always have the urge to either listen to their conversation and sulk or just continue with typing for his first book.

“Oh, well then, see you tomorrow at 4! Have a great day.” And with that, the call ends and he screams out a little squeal.

Kita doesn’t know how to feel about this,

This is all so new and unfamiliar to him,

What is he going to do now?

-

Dec. 07, 2019. 

Silence, nothing but the sound of typing on a keyboard and the open T.V.

The air was suffocating.

Too awkward.

They could smell the pleasant petrichor of the post-rain evening but no one from the two dared to say anything about it.

  
  


_‘This is the 24th time that he has ignored me for the whole day this month,’_

_‘why am I even keeping tabs?’_

_‘It’s pointless for me to keep track of how many times he has either ignored me for a day or has talked to his teammate.’_

_‘But, why am I even doing it?’_

_‘Just focus on your book, Shinsuke. Everything’s going well.’_

  
  


Suddenly, he got a call from his literary manager so he stopped whatever he’s doing and answered the call.

“Kita-san, I have some terrible news for you.”

-

Dec. 19, 2019. 

Kita, lying supine on the huge mattress looking at the blank ceiling, with tears falling down his cheeks.

It’s been a week already but he still couldn’t believe it,

His manuscript was rejected-

No, they decided to stop it all.

The excitement he had when he had found Yachi (his literary manager) and gave her the manuscript, saying that it was immaculate; is now gone.

He was about to finish his novel, his first-ever novel.

The novel he **dreamt** of publishing.

Now, it’s all gone. The opportunity of having his written work known to the entire world, now shattered into pieces.

Sniffling, weeping, sobbing.

All he did was cry and cry for the entire night,

not until Atsumu suddenly comes home, all laughs and giggles with a familiar voice.

Alarmed, Kita suddenly went all quiet.

“Shouyo!” Atsumu yells out a name drunkenly.

  
  


_‘He drank out with his teammates?’_

  
  


“Tsumu-kun, you’re drunk! You’re such a dimwit.”

“But, Bokkun~ I love Shouyo so- much!” Followed with a hiccup, he then made weird noises that made Bokuto laugh.

_‘What?’_

_‘Did he just say that?’_

“I get it, I get it! But don’t you think it’s a little too early for you to love someone? Heck, you just broke up with Kita-san 6 months ago!”

“Pssh, Shouyo, and I are already together! We’re like TWO fucking PEAS in a pod, Bokuto-kun. TWO FUCKING PEAS IN A POD!” A long and loud woo came after that.

His heart sank deep, like a boat that has been pushed over by the strong currents of the raging sea.

  
  


_‘I see how it is now.’_

  
  


-

Dec. 23, 2019. 

Drip, drip, drip.

The sound of dripping water droplets is heard coming from the bathroom.

Sobbing, weeping, and sniffling.

The cries of a broken-hearted boy resonating throughout the cold white-tiled bathroom.

_‘What happened to the Miya Atsumu that I know and love?’_

Thoughts of his beloved being distant made him downhearted, everything about him seemed to have _changed_ whenever Kita’s with him.

Even when he locks eyes with Atsumu, he could see a hint of _sorrow_ in his eyes.

It was obvious that everything had changed between the two of them,

_and Kita doesn’t dare to fix it._

_He just wants to be in his arms, for one last time;_

_before letting him go._

  
  


-

Jan. 08, 2020. 

In the apartment he had spent the past 5 years with his beloved, there in the living room has been filled with boxes.

Boxes that are full of things.

Kita’s the only one in the apartment at the moment as Atsumu was away for a game in Italy and will be back by the 11th.

This was the perfect time to prepare his surprise for Atsumu.

By the time he arrives home, he’ll be so surprised!

Kita has never done anything like this before but he is so glad that he’s doing one right now as it is for his gossamer breeze.

He gathered everything that needs to be thrown away or that’s not important right now. He cleaned every nook and cranny that is in the complex, even cleaned the unused bedroom that has been sitting there waiting to be used. He fixed everything that needs fixing and placed everything that is not in its proper places. Kita did all of this for his lover to come home to a clean and relaxing home.

He replaced the bedsheets, pillowcases, and curtains in the rooms; folded their clothes, and made their rooms look presentable.

After all the hard work he had put into cleaning their apartment, he took a break by writing a little story on a piece of paper dedicated to Atsumu. 

He can’t wait for Atsumu to come home.

-

Jan. 11, 2020. 

“I’m home!”

Silence.

Confused, he took off his shoes, put on his slippers, and went inside. He couldn’t find Kita.

Everything was so clean as if everything had been left untouched since the beginning of time.

“Shinsuke?” Atsumu called him out, looking for him everywhere in the living room, in the kitchen, and the bathroom.

No Kita Shinsuke.

Atsumu went to their bedroom and opened up the closet,

  
  


_Kita’s clothes are missing._

  
  


He went back to the living room and searched around for anything that could have been left by him.

Fortunately, he found one.

It was a letter.

-

_Dear Miya Atsumu,_

_To the man that I have loved for almost a decade, to the man that I have cherished with all my heart; for the past 9 years, I have loved you loudly and proudly. I bragged about you to my co-workers and our friends, I kissed your soft lips several times that I can’t even count, I held your hand tightly as if I was holding the world when in reality; you are my world, and I have spent time with you cherishing every little moment we have together. Every day felt like ecstasy whenever I’m with you, it was amazing to know that I have you by my side always._

_You know, when I first laid my eyes on you, you were so beautiful. So, so beautiful that you shone like a sapphire; the world’s shiniest gemstone that mankind could ever see. The blonde dyed hair you have, those sharp brown eyes of yours whenever you focus on doing a perfect toss to your spikers, you were so beautiful. As time passed by, we were able to become acquaintances. We became even much closer when I became the captain of the team. I took care of all of you equally but; I have always thought of treating you much better than the others because I somehow took a liking for you. Sounds selfish, right?_

_Despite the rowdy and provoking personality you have, I was able to find beauty in you. I loved every single imperfection of yours and loved every single bit of you._

_Remember that time where we both confessed at the same time? I still get chills every time I reminisce about that wonderful day, literal chills! The blush you had was hilarious, I never thought I would get to see the Miya Atsumu blush this intensely. Because of you, I became happier than I was before. I really loved how comforting your hug was, I could feel the unsaid feelings finally fading away when we hugged._

_We became the happiest people in our tiny world, we made each other happy when no one else can, every moment we had together was fantastic and worth reminiscing._

_The promises we made to each other, the kisses and hugs we had together, the risks we had to take for each other; everything we did for each other, I feel like life became even better._

_I have no regrets on risking everything for you, I have no regrets having my firsts with you, and I have no regrets loving you wholeheartedly. With every promise we made, we were able to keep it even though we had our ups and downs, we were able to fulfill them Every cuddle session we had, we were able to get closer to each other more and more. Every time we were doing something for the first time, we are always there to experience it, together._

_We lifted each other, we cheered each other up, we helped each other, just like what best friends would do. But we were more than that,_

_We were like soulmates._

_Soulmates that found peace and tranquility in each other._

_Remember our 1st anniversary? What happened still cracks me up to this day! It was a Sunday morning and I called you first thing in the morning. I greeted you good morning and a happy 1st anniversary to the both of us. You then asked me what day it is, I answered that it’s the seventh of November; the gasp you emitted immediately made my day. You freaked out because you told me that you didn’t know it’s already been a year now. You thought that we’ve been together for years now and I lost it. It was so funny and I love remembering this always._

_Remember your 19th birthday? We celebrated it together by moving into an apartment, something we had planned for 6 and a half months. You were so excited that you even forgot that it was your birthday but remembered that it was when you came to our new home with me, holding a small cake for you. Your reaction was so adorable, your smile went even bigger and shined even brighter- I think that was the only time I ever got to see a much brighter and bigger smile coming from you. I also remember that little shriek of yours when I gave you my gift._

_Do you still remember what I gave you that day? I hope you do because, for me, it’s really important to me._

_They were matching silver bracelets; it has our initials and a heart engraved on it, with a gorgeous bouquet of daisies. I used all my allowance from the month before for it and I loved how it looked when I first bought them. I was also quite surprised that you knew what daisies mean, you even told me that it made your day even much better._

_It was so amazing to see the love of my life so happy, it was like a fever dream that only happens once in a blue moon._

_Remember that time when you promised me that we are going to get married when you finally introduced me to your parents?_

_Well, I don’t think that’s going to ever happen now._

_The thought of getting married to the love of your life excites every person who’s in love, like me, right? Just imagine the house we’re going to live in together, the kids we’re going to raise and love, the journey to parenthood we’re going to experience, I would love to experience that with you one day._

_I saw pity and sorrow in those beautiful brown eyes of yours, you distanced yourself a lot more as time passed by, you gave me the silent treatment when I didn’t even do anything to you._

_I thought you were going through something that you didn’t want to talk about so I gave you space and time for yourself._

_But you started to go out often and sometimes come home with love bites on your neck._

_That’s when I knew that you’ve run out of love._

_I didn’t understand how and why but I finally understood when you talked about the short orange-haired boy from Karasuno that we once played against at the nationals and when I finally got to know the boy._

_He was so bubbly and carefree, just like you. He was a nice person, caring I also must say; I feel like he's much better for you rather than me. He likes volleyball as much as you do, very friendly and energetic, he’s also quite handsome. I could see why you’ve fallen in love with him._

_It hurts me knowing that the Miya Atsumu that I know and love has gotten tired from our long relationship, which was filled with thrill and happiness._

_You were probably afraid of hurting me, which is why you didn’t tell me._

_But it’s alright, I understand._

_It’s just, thinking that everything we had done together; from having our firsts together to promising that we would get married, will go to waste._

_It’s okay, I’m not angry or disappointed._

_Right now, I too am getting tired, but not in the same tired as you._

_I’m tired of having you feel pitiful for me, I’m tired of crying over our relationship. I just wanted to have the old Atsumu that I know and love, but that’s not going to happen anymore. Because you finally found the one that can truly make you happy, the one that you would spend your entire lifetime with._

_I am so thankful for destiny for letting me meet you on that very day, thankful that I got to be with the most angelic, most thrilling person for nine years. Someone so fantastic and carefree, I never thought that I would be with someone like you._

_We promised that we wouldn’t leave each other but now you want to leave me, I don’t want you to pretend anymore. Pretending that you still love me, putting on a façade to make me happy._

_Every time I will be looking at the calendar and it’s the first of July, all I would be seeing is a blank space. Nothing written on it, nothing to expect for it; a date that used to be very special for me, now it’s just one of those dates that’ll be left blank on my monotonous calendar._

_For the last 9 years that I have spent with you, I don’t think there is anything that I wanted us to do together but the things we thought of together. Like introducing me to your parents, get married, live in a small but cozy house together, adopt kids to build our own family, and enjoy life with them; I could imagine how it would all turn out and the challenges we have to take on for all of this to happen. It’s like abandoning a project, leaving all the materials and tools we used for the construction. They don’t know when we will be back, they’re waiting for us to be used and finish constructing what we were building together. But, in the end, they’ll realize that they’ve been left behind and will just rust away on their places. We could have finished this together, but you ran out of energy. The energy that keeps you going, the energy that you need to maintain. But it drained. You just kept going and going until I noticed that you were tired; I let you rest but seeing you relax when you’re not at the site, that’s when I decided to stop all of this._

_This construction site of ours was my haven, a place where I could improve with the person I adore, a cozy house to have fun in; but you stopped thinking the same._

_We could have had a wonderful place to sleep in, to feel relaxed, and to enjoy ourselves but you don’t feel the same anymore._

_The sparks you said that we have whenever we kiss, has been lost. The butterflies you feel fluttering on your stomach whenever I smile at you, have died down._

_And so, I asked myself, did I lack something? Did I do something wrong? Or was I too much?_

_Questions that were unfamiliar to me started to come up and manifest my thoughts, I would have these thoughts for weeks with no end and just weep like a damsel in distress. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to fix what we have but I couldn’t find a way._

_I wanted to do something about it but, you seemed so, exhausted._

_But then it came to me that people can get tired, it was selfish of me to think that there aren’t people that get tired too._

_I know that we could get this through together but, you look so tired._

_We can, I know that, but I’m not going to convince you of doing so. It’s because a few months after you’ve fallen out of love, you then fell in love with someone who was like the sun and shines like the sun._

_Even I would have fallen in love with the boy, there’s no denying it haha._

_If I was given the chance to fix all of this, I would have taken it because_ ** _I would go through hell; just to be with you._**

_Atsumu, you’ve been so good to me but, I think I have to do what’s right._

_For the both of us._

_No, for me, you and Hinata Shouyo._

_Let’s stop this now._

_I’ll do what’s right, for the three of us._

_Let’s not cage ourselves anymore,_

_I’ll set you free for your happiness._

_If you’re not happy with me, then I accept that you’re happy with someone else instead._

_I just want you to know, for the last time, that I loved you; so dearly. Wholeheartedly, I loved you so, so much._

_I enjoyed and have cherished every single second I had with you for the last 9 years, thank you so much for everything._

_Everything we had done together has not gone to waste if we both enjoyed it together, everything we had done for each other has not gone to waste if our love was true like the love you see in fairy tales._

_One day, I will tell the world about the wondrous love we had together through my words, which I poured in every single bit of my feelings. I will tell the world about the love that we could have had if only I had been enough for you._

_Through this letter that I wrote for you, I can finally say that_

_we can now go on our separate ways, my gossamer breeze._

_A love so beautiful is something that I would never forget,_

_Kita Shinsuke._

_P.S. Please take care of yourself for me, even your new love. Also, happy 9th anniversary, Miya Atsumu. :)_

_P.P.S I hope you still remember what azaleas and pink carnations mean._

-

“Azaleas… Pink carnations…”

He looked at the vase that was put beside the letter, it was a single azalea and a single carnation that was in the color pink.

“Azaleas mean either temperance or the phrase ‘Take care of yourself for me’ while…”

He thought of it for a while, it was the flower that Kita gave him before they were even together.

“I’ll never forget you..”

He heaved a deep sigh and sat down on the couch near him.

Suddenly, tears started to build up.

He feels like shit, for having him go through all that.

He didn’t deserve to be treated like that, for a boy so angelic like Kita, he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that by him; someone’s who’s nothing like him.

-

Sept. 21, 2020. 

  
  
  


“This was such a long line! I didn’t know he’s this famous now.”

“Yeah, even I can’t believe it but, all that hard work sure did pay off didn’t it, Osamu?”

“Well, I can’t believe that you’re at your ex’s book signing event, Atsumu!”

“Hey! What’s so bad about supporting people’s dreams?”

“Ha, right. It’s not like yo- Atsumu, it’s your turn now!”

“Oh, what-”

Osamu suddenly pushed Atsumu forward lightly, almost making him lose grip on his book.

Now, he’s staring at the now successful Kita Shinsuke; still looking ethereal like before.

He muttered a small hi and gave his book to Kita to sign.

“So, how have you been, Miya?” Kita asked him with a smile on his face.

“O-oh, I’ve been doing great nowadays! Shouyo and I are still as strong as ever.”

“Well, that’s great to hear then! Open page 111, you’ll see something written in there for you. Now shoo, other people are waiting to get their books signed!” He said in a friendly tone and made a shoo-ing gesture.

Now out of the line, he went ahead and waited for Osamu to finish with the book signing.

-

_This poem, I thought of you when I wrote this._

_Meet me at the park near Café Soleil et Lune, 7:30 pm._

That’s what it said on the page,

a poem which was written with the thought of Atsumu.

He really messed up big time.

Reading the poem that Kita wrote,

_It was magnificent._

From the choice of words to the emotions he felt as he read every single word in the poem, everything was magnificent. It was fantastic, amazing, amusing, pleasant, Atsumu could list down everything about how this poem Kita wrote made him feel and how immaculate his poem is.

If someone were to ask about his thoughts about this poem, he would go on for _days_.

Now, he wonders about what they’ll be talking about at the park.

-

Aug. 21, 2020 7:29pm. 

Atsumu’s feet lead him to the street lantern-lit playground where he could see a sitting man with ash-like colored hair on the swing. Eyes exposed to little blue light, it seems like he’s waiting for something.

He walked towards the man but he abruptly stopped in his tracks when the latter lifted his chin, just to see who was walking towards him. 

“Hello, Atsumu. I knew you were going to come.” The older said with a smile on his face, a bittersweet smile.

Atsumu lets out a light chuckle, “Why wouldn’t I? It’s been a while since we last saw each other.” He responded to the older’s statement, it has been a while since they last saw each other. They did text each other at some times, may it either be for Osamu or anything that would do with their volleyball team back in High School. 

Atsumu’s glad that they still are on good terms though most of the time, it has been awkward for the two.

The fake blonde went ahead and sat at the swing next to Kita.

“How are you, Kita?” He asked Kita as he rocks in his swing.

Kita takes a good moment to stare at him and notice how much he changed.

  
  


_‘He looks better than before.’_

Kita smiled at the younger lad.

“I’ve been doing great since the last few months,” Kita answers as he fidgets with his fingers. “What about you, how are things with Hinata-san?” 

  
  


_‘We’re still like two peas in a pod, I bet that’s what he’s gonna say.’_

He heard him giggle lightly,

  
  


_hearing his giggle made Kita think how much he missed that sweet, calming giggle of his._

“Actually, things aren’t going well right now but we were just planning on talking about it tomorrow after practice! After you left, I thought about the reason why for a while because after reading the letter you wrote for me, I only managed to understand a little bit of it because I knew that I fucked up big time.”

Atsumu too takes a good look at Kita and smiles awkwardly.

“During that time, I asked myself why I was too scared to tell you that I fell out of love or why I didn’t even dare to say it sooner, I imagined a lot of scenarios if we didn’t have to end it all; though, you were the one who decided to do so when I was too scared.”

"And to be honest, I'm glad that you did."

Laughter emits from the lips of the younger for a short second, he took a deep breath before talking again.

“Honestly, I never thought we would end up like this. Despite being in love with Shouyo-kun during the time you left, I couldn’t believe that someone that I love; well, _loved_ , left. Not like, _leaving_ leaving but _relationship_ leaving- Do you understand where I’m getting at?”

Now, it was Kita’s time to laugh. 

“Yeah, I can understand where you’re getting at. Continue on.”

“Okay, good. I mean, like; coming home and seeing your boyfriend suddenly disappear with a letter on the coffee table? I thought that only happens in books and movies but it seems like you made an exception for it.” Atsumu said, sounding like everything was far-fetched. “Even though I now know why, tell me, why did you leave?”

Then, silence dominated the pacifying atmosphere they had in the air.

Right now, all that Kita can do is think.

Think of how to put it in the right words, how to deliver it, and how it would turn out.

It’s funny how an author like him is thinking of what to say.

He’s not even looking at a paper nor a blank screen but, he’s looking at the man who he had been with since their high school days.

_The man that he had loved with all of his heart,_

_who sadly became a stranger who knows all of his secrets_

  
  


_and a soulmate, who wasn't meant to be his._

Before Kita answers, he could already feel the tears daring to break out of its walls.

"The poem."

That is all that Kita answered, the poem.

Dumb-founded, Atsumu raises an eyebrow and made a 'huh' sound.

"What do you mean? Do you mean, the poem that you wrote whilst I was in your mind?" He asks.

The older smiled in a bittersweet way and simply nods to his question.

A moment of silence once again occurs. With the wind brushing their hair and touching their skin, the tall lamp posts lit up and a few cars passing by the park.

"Stand up."

Atsumu commands Kita while he stands up from the swing.

And Kita did exactly what Atsumu told him to.

Suddenly, Atsumu puts his head on Kita's shoulder and puts him in an embrace; eyes closed and a few sniffles are heard from the younger. Kita was surprised at what Atsumu just did, in the park where they stood silently and only the sniffling of Miya Atsumu was heard, his sniffles turned into sobs as time passes by; his eyes widened and he was speechless, he never knew such a strong, independent and strong-willed man like him can be this vulnerable. To his surprise, his tears started falling down like a river, he tried his best to grab the courage to hug back but to no avail; he couldn’t with everything that’s happening right now.

“Shinsuke,”

“Yes, ‘Tsumu?”

“Thank you for teaching me how to love, for being there when no one else was, for teaching me things that I didn’t even know about and,”

Atsumu sniffles again before he speaks.

“I’m sorry for making you feel unloved, unimportant- no, I’m sorry for making you go through a bad time, I was too scared to tell you that I fell out of love and that I found someone else. It was the shittiest thing that I have ever done to you and I really don’t expect you to forgive me after everything I have done but ike, I am so glad that we’re still friends because I don’t even know what to do without your wise advices and-”

“‘Tsumu,” he stops Atsumu from word-vomiting.

Kita pushes Atsumu away gently and smiles sweetly despite all the tears that are falling down to his cheeks, “It’s okay, I already forgave you for a long time now.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened in surprise,

He didn’t expect him to forgive him that easily.

After all, what he did to Kita was the last thing anyone would want to do to their significant others.

“W-why?”

_“I forgave you because a love as beautiful as ours too, can end on a bitter note.”_

_“And that falling out of love’s normal, and I understand how and why.”_

The calm and collected Kita Shinsuke approaches Miya Atsumu with a gentle leer; caresses the taller’s face.

“Also, didn’t I tell you to only apologize when you truly feel bad?”

“I-I truly feel bad, Shinsuke! I promis-”

Kita gleefully laughs at Atsumu, “I’m just kidding! But,”

“If you truly are sorry, win the game against the Adlers tomorrow.”

Atsumu looks at Kita with glimmering eyes and he too laughs at Kita and started wiping his tears.

“I’ll make sure that I crush them with Sho- with my teammates, Shinsuke!”

“I’ll be watching you tomorrow, ‘Tsumu.”

  
  


-

  
  


Aug. 22, 2020. 

  
  


The roaring of the audience, the squeaks that can be heard as the players fight with all their might, the cheering for their beloved team louder than the Sendai Traffic, there sat Kita Shinsuke among the crowd; watching the MSBY Black Jackals try to score a point against the Schweiden Adlers.

It was 30-31 and one more point, the Black Jackals would win.

“Left!” shouts Bokuto; asking the setter, Atsumu, to set to him.

Atsumu smirks and sets it to Hinata instead.

“And Miya Atsumu sets the ball to Hinata Shouyo and wins the game! Unbelievable, isn’t it Kazunari-san?”

“Yes, you’re right! And Hinata-kun was in a bad spot there but he managed to score a point with that sharp cross shot! Congratulations to the MSBY Black Jackals on the win against the Schweiden Adlers!”

The audience roars even louder as the winning team celebrates their victory.

“Atsumu-kun was literally on fire today! I wonder what got into him?” Kita’s literary manager, Yachi, said, “It’s good to see him like this anyways! There’s so much more to look forward to now hahaha!”

Kita laughs along with her, “Yeah, wasn’t Atsumu great today?”

“Yeah, he really was!”

  
  


_‘Isn’t that just wonderful?’_

  
  


_‘I hope everything goes well between the two of you, ‘Tsumu.’_

  
  


-

  
  


The Poem. 

  
  


I can hear

The sound of what we’ve been

Building together,

Slowly crumbling

Until it crashes down

Into the ground,

Leaving me in a speechless state

While you give up

And walk away

From the construction site

Where it all began.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! merry early christmas HAHAHA i hope you liked your gift mo <33


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